We're facebook friends in real life
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
