She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
