i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Randomize