do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
