Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Randomize
