sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
