no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
