Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
