i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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