Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
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