Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
