have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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