I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
