Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
