He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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