ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Sorry about my life...
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
