so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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