Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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