ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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