Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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