I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
