I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
