i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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