do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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