omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
