He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
