is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
