i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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