she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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