too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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