At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
