i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
