Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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