You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Randomize
