just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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