are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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