Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
