Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
