real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
