Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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