problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
