a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
