Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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