I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
