seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Who died my cat blue again?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
