I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
