At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
