..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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