Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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