Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
