Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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