He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Just invented taco cereal.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize