Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
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